Cass ([info]calove) wrote,
@ 2006-12-15 12:46:00
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FICLET: Butterfly memories
I've FINISHED!!! Whoo-hoo! No more work until after Christmas - although in truth, the kids break up today and looking after the kids counts as work in my book, but... no more work-type work!
Probably.

Damn, but it's been a hard few months.

I felt like an enormous weight has lifted when I sent off the last slide set this morning, so to celebrate, I wrote a teeny ficlet! I have no idea where this one came from given the weather, but anyway...

Title: Butterfly memories
Set: Post-Chosen
Pairing: Spuffy
Rating: Tame and soppy.



Sometimes the memories came at the strangest times.

She’d expected them in the night, when the black velvet darkness wrapped her in dreams, when her mind let go and her body was set free to cry out for his. Then they’d come slowly, night-phantoms drawn from the realms of her remembrances, gentle touches flowing and fusing and filling her with a longing that woke her to the shadows, made her reach for him in a confusion of loneliness.

And in the adrenalin-rush of a slay, he was there. In the secret pleasure she finds in the strength of her body, lithe and quick, in the flash of fists and fangs, the skill of the kill, the heat and sweat and keen quickening of blood – the thrill she’d denied but he saw in her, he’d understood. Then she’d wish him back, wish him with her, to fight alongside and against, to be friend, foe, fighter, dancer, demon, man… lover…

When she came to England she knew they’d be there, that she’d hear his voice reflected in the accents that surrounded her each day, that the sound would turn each half-glimpse of a form, each suggestion of a shadow, into a fleeting burst of breathtaking hope, there and gone, but leaving its echoes to touch her with sadness.

But sometimes the memories came where she least expected them, and caught her breath, her heart, her soul.

Like today.

Sitting in the summer warmth of Giles’ garden, languorous in the shade of the old apple trees, sleepy in the silence touched with crystal birdsong and the heavy buzz of black and bronze bumble bees. At peace, her mind meandering lazily over nothing in particular, she watches the dragonflies hunt in a patch of sunlight, skimming over the long meadow grass, catching rainbows from the air in the prisms of paper-dry wings. She sees a butterfly delicate in shades of gold and brown, resting from its dance on a purple-blushed orchid, open its wings to a dapple of liquid light.

She reaches toward it, and the sun touches her hand with a flare of gold, flame-bright and bedazzling to her shade-sensitive eyes, and she sees another time, another flame. She is filled with the memory of fear and sacrifice and love and loss. She looks down at her left hand, at the smooth, fire-scarred surface of her palm, draws the memory tight around her and sits on, frozen in the summer heat.

He comes from the cool shadows to wrap his arms around her, risking the shafts of sunlight sparking through the trees to hold her. Her raises her hand to press shadow-cool lips against the scars, to bring her to life.

She smiles into eyes bluer than the English skies, warmer than the summer sun, slips into an embrace that always feels like coming home.

He presses his lips to her hair and purrs, “Chasin’ butterflies, pet?”

“Not any more,” she says as her lips find his and she pulls him down into the tangled grass, among the soft green scents, beneath the canopy of apple-jewelled trees, where new memories ease the pain of old.




Wheee! That felt good. Now I want to write a bit of angst. And maybe work on something longer, because I know I've said it before but it feels GOOD to be writing again! But housework is needed. And time is short. But I don't care! I'm having a few hours off. I'm hanging the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the study door (in hope rather than expectation..)

Have a great weekend, all.

ETA Oh! Oh! Thank you SO much to the lovely anonymous person who gifted me with extra LJ time and user pics! It was a wonderful surprise and I'm very grateful. I have all my lovely icons back!

((hugs))

ETAA They've been doing things to LJ again... hmmm...



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[info]curiouswombat
2006-12-15 01:12 pm UTC (link)
That's beautifully evocative, I am left wondering is he really there, or is he part of the mind's imagining? Lovely.

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:38 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, CW. Is he there? That, gentle reader, is for you to decide...

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[info]petzipellepingo
2006-12-15 01:15 pm UTC (link)
It may be schmoop but it's the very best kind of schmoop. And just the thing to set off the weekend, thank you.

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:40 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, petzi. A little schmoop doesn't hurt once in a while :)

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[info]underthis_shade
2006-12-15 02:01 pm UTC (link)
That was really beautiful.. There is no need to say anymore. :)

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:40 pm UTC (link)
That will do very niely indeed :)

Thanks, hun.

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(no subject) - [info]calove, 2006-12-15 04:41 pm UTC

[info]ezagaaikwe
2006-12-15 02:21 pm UTC (link)
Wow! There are no other words.

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:42 pm UTC (link)
Hee! Thanks, Eza!

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[info]kargrif
2006-12-15 02:39 pm UTC (link)
that was wonderful !! great job!

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:43 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! Gald you liked it :)

That's a beautiful icon. If only, huh?

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[info]moscow_watcher
2006-12-15 03:24 pm UTC (link)
Awww... sweet.

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:45 pm UTC (link)
:) Thank you!

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[info]red_sunflower
2006-12-15 03:36 pm UTC (link)
Lovely and sweet. Thank you Cass.

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:44 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, Anita.

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[info]just_sue
2006-12-15 04:29 pm UTC (link)
Scrummy, honey!

And so glad you are feeling good with the writing - and hinting at something longer too!

Thanks ever so. *hugs*

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 04:46 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, Sue! It does feel good to have a little bit of Spuffylove back - and especially when I have some time to act on it!

You know what these muses are like...

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[info]jamalov29
2006-12-15 05:16 pm UTC (link)
This was so lovely , and sweet , and tender and just marvelous ..I loved the imagery and atmosphere.
I will never get tired of your writing of Spike and Buffy post Chosen , basking in love
.. and memories . :)

I'm so happy that your muse has been nice to you and that you gifted us with this warming tale. This was a balm to my heart and I thank you very much for this, honey.

Have a nice week-end , too.(((hugs)))

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 11:20 pm UTC (link)
Thank you Caroline - I will never get tired of your kind words and encouragement :)

I'm glad you enjoyed it - especially today.

((hugs you back))

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[info]fredsmith518
2006-12-15 05:37 pm UTC (link)
so pretty, love your descriptions

we break up Friday:( but 3 weekends not 2:D

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[info]fredsmith518
2006-12-15 05:38 pm UTC (link)
gah, it is Friday, but I mean next Friday 22

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(no subject) - [info]calove, 2006-12-15 11:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fredsmith518, 2006-12-16 08:18 am UTC

[info]amybnnyc
2006-12-15 05:59 pm UTC (link)
Congrats on being done 'til post-Christmas!

And this was lovely--so sweet, and put a big smile on my face. :)

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 11:26 pm UTC (link)
It feels good. There is a small mountain of work to climb when the clients get back from their Xmas break, but until then... play time!

I'm very glad this made you smile :)

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[info]kazzy_cee
2006-12-15 07:56 pm UTC (link)
Awwww - I was all.... "What?", then it went all smoopy and suited my end of week mood. Thank you!!!

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 11:28 pm UTC (link)
I was in a schmoopy mood, too. But a little bit of teasing first is required ;)

Thank you, KC! And your icon is gorgeous.

*sniffles*

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[info]enigmaticblues
2006-12-15 09:18 pm UTC (link)
Gorgeous imagery in that one. I loved the feeling behind it. And I loved the happiness of the ending. I needed that. *hugs you*

And yay for DND signs! You should take a few hours off. Or more. Preferably more, but whatever you can take...

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, hun.

I made a DND sign :) Of course, apparently no-one in this house can read, or thinks mum needs mumtime more than they need a drink/biscuit or whine about their sibling/lost toy. I wonder if the lock still works....

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[info]gillo
2006-12-15 09:34 pm UTC (link)
Lovely, gentle and touching.

I want him to be really there.

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 11:36 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, sweetie.

I never doubted for a moment that he wasn't really there. In my Spuffyverse they find each other...

Usually.

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[info]kcarolj65
2006-12-15 11:31 pm UTC (link)
*apple-jewelled trees*

Sigh. Just beautiful.

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[info]calove
2006-12-15 11:44 pm UTC (link)
Awww... thanks, hun :)

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[info]slaymesoftly
2006-12-15 11:47 pm UTC (link)
Ah, that was lovely. *sighs*

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[info]calove
2006-12-16 12:28 am UTC (link)
Thank you :) Glad you liked it.

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[info]kathyh
2006-12-15 11:51 pm UTC (link)
That was utterly gorgeous. Enjoy your time off!

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[info]calove
2006-12-16 12:33 am UTC (link)
Thank you, Kathy.

And - thank you, I intend to (hyperexcited kids allowing...)

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[info]thedeadlyhook
2006-12-16 01:29 am UTC (link)
Wonderfully lovely and lyrical.

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[info]calove
2006-12-16 07:28 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, hun :)

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[info]quietpoet
2006-12-16 04:47 am UTC (link)
hi! I surfed in here through [info]petzipellepingo and I am NOT disappointed. This is a short little fic, but it was beautiful, ethereal, and dream-like. I'm dying to know whether Spike was real or not!! Wonderful job!

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[info]calove
2006-12-16 07:31 pm UTC (link)
Thank you for coming over. Petzi is a sweetheart for pimping.

I'm very glad it didn't disappoint, and thanks for the wonderful comments. As to whether Spike's real, in my verse they find each other again. But you're very welcome to decide!

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[info]appomattoxco
2006-12-17 02:55 am UTC (link)
Stopped by via the Herald, beautiful story.

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[info]calove
2006-12-17 11:45 pm UTC (link)
Thanks for stopping by, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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[info]rahirah
2006-12-17 05:30 am UTC (link)
Like how he appears in the last place you'd think to look for him.

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[info]calove
2006-12-17 11:50 pm UTC (link)
That's our boy.

He'll just have to keep his fingers crossed no warm breeze tosses the leaves aside...

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[info]fotada
2006-12-18 07:01 pm UTC (link)
What pretty little fic!

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[info]calove
2006-12-18 10:55 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! I was in need of writing something pretty :)

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[info]kathylovesspike
2006-12-18 08:22 pm UTC (link)
That was just beautiful Calove...and for me he will ALWAYS be real!!!! In my world these two crazy kids DO find each other again too....
Thank you for this lovely treat.

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[info]calove
2006-12-18 10:58 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, Kathy.

My Spike wants Buffy, and who can refuse him? I may make them suffer a bit first, but... he generally gets what he wants :)

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[info]gamiila
2006-12-29 06:26 pm UTC (link)
she watches the dragonflies hunt in a patch of sunlight, skimming over the long meadow grass, catching rainbows from the air in the prisms of paper-dry wings. She sees a butterfly delicate in shades of gold and brown, resting from its dance on a purple-blushed orchid, open its wings to a dapple of liquid light.

Hmmm...I just love the way you string words together and conjure up and atmosphere. Here I am, cold as ever in the middle of winter, yet when I read your fic, it's as if I'm in that garden feeling the sun on my skin. Thank you.

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[info]calove
2006-12-31 02:10 am UTC (link)
Thank you, hun; means a lot you reading and enjoying.

And thanks too for the Christmas card. Plus - grovelling apologies. I didn't send any cards this year. I've been a crap friend. Christmas just snuck up out of the morass of work (despite promising that I wouldn't take any on during the week before... yeah, right) and then it got too late, and sending late cards just seemed rude somehow. So - I hope you had a good one. I need to play catch up when the kids/himself are out of my hair next week...

((hugs))

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[info]bogwitch
2007-01-04 06:03 pm UTC (link)
Buffy should get a sun hat.

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